Three years ago I was told by an oncologist that they could count on one hand the patients in my condition who had survived beyond two years. I am still fighting my disease, but I am well past the two year mark and don’t plan on leaving any time soon. As a creative person I joke that I welcome pain and misfortune because difficult times feel like ammo for creating art.
As with most jokes there is truth to this idea, but as I have struggled to settle on a vision or direction I realize that cancer is a loaded subject to tackle in any medium. For the past two decades I have been fighting cancer on and off. The threat itself and the way that I perceive it has changed over the years. I intended to have an exhibition of a new series of photographs based on my experiences as a cancer patient and I planned on having that exhibition opening two years ago. While I was eager to tackle the subject, I have felt crushed under its weight. How do I express ideas bout mortality, relationships, love, fear, pain, financial hardship, philosophy and spirituality into a cohesive visual series of images? I have explored these themes over the past couple of years through portraits and self-portraits, but the images and words that emerge are not unified in a way that makes me feel compelled to carry out in the form of a series.
I realize I have been overthinking. My purpose is simply to be a source of hope for people who are wrestling with their doctors’ prognosis, or know somebody who is. I wouldn’t be here without doctors but they only operate from one way of thinking. It is a great feeling to prove them wrong. I have learned so much over the past two decades about how to deal with troubling health conditions as well as how to prevent them. I feel richer for having those experiences and I want to share them with you through images and words.
